


Three Unspoken Words

by orphan_account



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Feels, Grief/Mourning, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, Please Don't Hate Me, Post-Season/Series 02, Sad, Unreliable Narrator, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 22:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4455452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three unspoken words don't necessarily have to be "I love you" or "I miss you". They can be any three words, and have a multitude of meanings.</p><p>*ON HOLD DUE TO SCHOOL*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's My Fault

**Author's Note:**

> \+ Just what I need, another story about season three, like I'm not writing any at the minute!
> 
> \+ I'm sorry for this, this is just going to be angst
> 
> \+ Also, please don't let season three be like this. We need happiness.

No matter how many times he watched and rewatched that footage. It all came back to one thing.

Him.

He had leaned against the door, opening it. He had caused it. He had made this all happen, made this all possible.

The video was now playing on a loop, he couldn't take his eyes of it.

It was sick. And he hated the fact that he was continually watching it.

But he couldn't stop. 

He hated himself.

No one else yet knew she was missing. Judging from the time on the video, she had been gone for less than an hour, not enough time for anyone to notice, or report her missing.

This video was proof enough to raise alarm in the base.

But how could he tell anyone, tell them that this rock had absorbed her.

He had only played the footage after he went back into the store room, unable to find her and seeing to door to the case being wide open. His stomach had twisted at this point, fear creeping in. He had known something was wrong. Why would she have left the door open. 

The footage hadn't even confirmed his worst fears. He would never have imagined something like that. The thought would never have even crossed his mind.

That security footage made everything so much worse.

The more he thought about it, the worse everything seemed to get. 

Thoughts about what could be happening to her, to Jemma, crept into his mind.

Was she still in the Rock?

Was she still even alive?

Could she have survived that?

He felt sick even thinking these questions.

These questions that he was so focused on that he never even heard Skye enter the room.

Didn't even hear her gasp as she watched the footage.

Didn't even hear her cry the second time she watched the footage.

He didn't need to say what she was thinking. They both knew it. It was better he left it unsaid.

Three unspoken words.


	2. She's gone, Fitz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +Please don't hate me for this. 
> 
> +This fic is going to be more like a collection of drabbles and shorts rather than like the other works in this series.
> 
> +I'm so sorry
> 
> +Mistakes are due to me using my tablet so feel free to tell me and I'll fix them.

Lincoln and Skye spent the next number of days and weeks traveling the globe, trying to find other Inhumans, trying to find out more about that the Rock that had taken Jemma. But everyone said the same thing. Said those words that Skye and Lincoln both didn't want to hear, didn't want to acknowledge.

Fitz, on the other hand worked non-stop, ignoring the fact that he needed both sleep and food. No one could seem to draw him away from the Kree Rock, the very thing that had taken the woman he loved, the woman he cared about.

He blamed himself, guilt eating him up. He blamed himself and refused to listen to what anyone else was saying.

He had leaned against the door, allowing the lock to open. 

He had left Jemma alone in there, allowed her to be taken.

He had caused all of this.

It had all come down to him, he was the common denominator.

By the time the third week rolled around, Coulson was ordering him to eat and to sleep, concern for the young engineer etched evident on his face. At first, Fitz had argued, protested. Saying that she was in pain, suffering. That he had to help her. He couldn't do anything else until she was safe.

He was in denial, refusing to acknowledge what well may be the truth, as that was too painful to think about even in these early days. 

But finally he started eating more, sleeping more. Both Coulson and May had an idea it had something to do with that hallucination of Jemma he used to have. They feared that she had made a reappearance. And that worried them.

He was eating and sleeping. At least that was something May, thought. But he was the one suffering and in pain. He was the one refusing to acknowledge what well may be the truth.

Skye and Lincoln finally came home at the end of the fifth week, and Fitz was up to meet them as quick as a puppy is when their owner comes home from work. 

Skye had tears streaming down her face, looking worse than he had ever seen her.

Lincoln threw down his pack, anger and pain flashing across his face. 

Fitz didn't need to say anything, the desperate plea in his blue eyes being enough to ask them that question he didn't dare think, never mind speak.

Lincoln just shook his head. Fitz knew what he meant.

He didn't need to say anything. Didn't need to say it aloud. It was better he left it unsaid.

Three unspoken words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marvel owns all and I hate myself for this. Thanks for reading.


	3. I'm so sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ I'm on my tablet again, so feel free to point put any mistakes and I'll fix them.

After Lincoln and Skye brought the news that she was, that she was gone (he refused to believe her dead. She couldn't be. She still had so much life left, so much to do. She could not have it snatched away from her like that. She didn't deserve to go like that. She couldn't be gone), Fitz wanted to hide away in his room, lock himself away and not talk to anyone. Figure out more ways to free her from that Rock. She was still in there and all he needed was more time. More time to work on getting her out. More time to free her.

But Coulson wouldn't allow it. Yellow tape now crisscrossed the door to the room. That room with that Rock. That Rock that had taken her from not just him, but from Skye also. And her family. 

Her parents. In his own selfish sulking, he hadn't even considered them. Her parents, losing their only child. Coulson would want to tell them that she was dead, but he didn't want that. She wasn't dead.

Missing. That's all she was. Missing. Not dead, like everyone was implying, and not an extreme hazard,like the yellow tape was implying.

She was just missing and he would find her.

He would always find her.

But Coulson wouldn't listen. He trusted Skye and Lincoln over him. He who knew Jemma best, better than anyone else. But he trusted them over him, saying that all those who knew about the Rock, who had said that Jemma Simmons was dead, were right and he was wrong.

Fitz hated that. And he hated the fact that he had to be the one to tell her parents. That they'd find it easier coming from him.

Someone who had loved Jemma. Someone who knew Jemma better than anyone else.

Someone who had been beside her the whole damn time.

He had to do this though. Had to do this for her parents.

For Jemma. 

She would want this. Fitz telling them before anyone else.

But when he faced them, he couldn't form the words. 

They got stuck in his throat. It was the sight of her mother crying that hit him the hardest. She knew something was wrong. Why else would she be called here? To a secret location and not have any details about her daughter be passed along the phone line.

Also she was a parent, and parents always know when something is wrong with their child.

He shook his head. He couldn't say it. It was better he left it unsaid.

Three unspoken words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual Marvel owns all and I hoped you enjoyed this. Your support means the world to me.


	4. Why not me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +sorry for delay, it'll be a while for updates due to school
> 
> +please point out any mistakes, I'm on my phone
> 
> +please enjoy

The weeks that followed were hell. Pure hell. He couldn't believe that she was gone, couldn't even begin to imagine it. 

Jemma Simmons. Dead.

It couldn't be. 

She couldn't be. 

Her parents stayed at base. It was easier than being at home. If only slightly.They didn't even have a body to bury. All they would be burying would be an empty coffin. 

Just an empty box of wood. 

During those weeks, Fitz didn't leave his room, didn't eat. How could he?

How could he even begin to move on when Jemma was gone. 

His best friend.

The woman he loved. 

His other half. 

Minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like eternities.  

He didn't even want to think what the rest of his lide would be like without her.

Hell. 

That's what life would be like without Jemma Simmons. 

Hell. And not just of him. 

For Skye, who had already lost so much, who already has her family ripped apart. 

For May, who had wanted to protect Jemma from all the evil in the world, who hadn't wanted Jemma to lose what made her Jemma. 

For her parents, who would have to live with this pain, with this empty void for the rest of their life. Who would only have pictures and memories. Who would have a house were Jemma Simmons never spoke, would never set foot in again. She'd be a ghost in her own home. 

Everyone she met love her, and everyone who loved her would miss her. 

Fitz didn't want to help plab the funeral. He shouldn't even be planning it, her parents shouldn't. 

No parent should have to plan how to lay their child to rest. 

So Fitz spent those days staring at that Rock, the yellow tape be damned. 

If it were to take him, he wouldn't care. At least he'd be with her, where ever that was. 

Bobbi tried to bring him food that first day he was there, but she couldn't stay in the room without tears escaping from her. She loved the smaller biochemist, had wanted to protect her. And Bobbi couldn't help but feel that she had failed.

So from there on, Mack brought him food, food that remained largely untouched. He missed her, hated that she was gone though he barely knew her. 

And every time he entered that room, regret flooded through him. 

At what he'd said to her, about her making Fitz worse. 

If he could, he'd take it all back. 

He hadn't consordered her feelings, and in hindsight no one had.  

No one has considered her at all after the pod incident. 

Fitz didn't even move when Mack left the food, staring at the Rock.

Mack knew what he was thinking, Fitz didn't have to say it. It was better he left it unsaid. 

Three unspoken words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more I write of this the more I hate myself for this. I've two possible endings, one you'll love and one you hate. It depends how this goes, depends on the ending.   
> Many apologises for the delay, and marvel owns all.


	5. Why She Left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +So sorry for not posting this, it's just been bust and all. 
> 
> +Hope you enjoy this new short chapter from this angst. 
> 
> +Any mistakes are due to the fact I may collapse from tiredness at any moment. I've had maybe 15 hours sleep the past two days.
> 
> +The italics are the diary entry and the scored out parts are supposed to be Jemma's mistakes.

He found her diary while in her room, it was just lying there, on her bed. He paused, not wanting to touch it, not wanting to read it. It was her diary. It should be private. Even in death. It was hers.

But... But maybe it might have answers to the last year of her life. The year that was her last, when it shouldn't have been. She deserved more. So much more. He sat down on her bed, lifting it and flicking through it.

And what he found surprised him.

It was her inner thoughts.

About why she left. 

A year ago now.

He honestly didn't think it was that long ago. So much had happened.

And so much had been lost.

_Fitz, Leo, if you ever find this maybe I've given it to you. Maybe I was no good with the words that deserved to be said. Like I was back at the Academy and Sci-Ops. How you helped me break out of my shell. Taught me the wonders of the world and helped me to appreciate everything that tiny bit more._

_But I wasn't able to ~~do the same~~_ _. Help you I mean. Fitz, Leo. I made you worse. I made you suffer._

_I hurt you._

_I made you suffer._

_You couldn't recover with me there._

_You weren't making progress_ _. _

_ I was hindering you. _

_ Every step that you took forward, I made you take five backwards. I'm so sorry, Leo. _

_ I left as it was better for you. _

_ You didn't need me in you're life. Causing you all this pain.  _

_ I was making you so much worse and I couldn't live with myself thinking that I was to blame for ~~all~~ the pain in your _ _  life. _

_ So sorry Leo. _

_ I left to make you better. I love you too much to be... _

_ To be... _

_ To be... _

_ To be the pain that I am and the pain that I cause. _

_ And if you're reading this, and I'm not here. _

_ I'm sorry and I loved you more than I loved myself, or life itself. _

Fitz dropped the diary.

He had gotten this wrong.

So very, very wrong.

He though that Jemma had left because she hadn't loved him.

But she had left for the opposite reason.

She left because she _had_ loved him.

So very, very much.

And now he could never get the chance to explore what could have been.

To apologise to her.

To make her love the world like she used to before HYDRA took it from her.

But now he couldn't.

He had made her last year miserable.

And he couldn't change it all.

A figure appeared at the door.

Bobbi.

She looked down at the book.

"What's that?" she asked, bending down to pick up the book.

Fitz didn't reply. He couldn't bring himself to move his mouth. It was better he left it unsaid. 

Three unspoken words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could have called this All The Paragraphs and it still would have worked. Some of my bad humour there to cheer   
> So he finally found out why she left... Yay(?). Any way. Thanks for reading and if any one wants to scream about conspiracy theories (about Will and all the small inconsistencies with that ep) or just AOS in general about me, feel free to here, or if you've Pinterest, I'm happy to message there. Thanks for all the support. You guys are the best. Marvel owns all.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.  
> Marvel owns all


End file.
